Self-talk
What is self talk? It is our own internal or sometimes external (out loud) talk about ourselves. It can be negative, positive, or neutral. Self-talk is actually an under-researched area, however the research we do have indicates it can have significant effect on performance and mental health.
Many mental health models of therapy address self-talk, including CBT, which refers to some forms of negative self-talk as cognitive distortion. Examples of this include inflated thinking “Everybody has left me, nobody cares”, thinking which may focus irrationally only on the negative “I failed the test, today is stressful, and it’s raining”, or thinking that is all or nothing “If I don’t get this job, nobody will ever hire me.” CBT examines change through a model of challenge, refocus, reframing, and examination of core beliefs and behaviors. Mindfulness focuses on a curiosity about the here and now, a focus of discovery, allowing us to be present without judgement, perhaps “going with the flow” is a good description. Negative self-talk tends to pull us out of the flow and may change our experience. For instance, imagine you are at a party and someone comments on your clothes “that’s a great bold print.” Negative self-talk may chime in with “ they are saying I look tacky” or “oh wow, it must be really bad if they said something.” suddenly your whole experience at this party is painted by judgment and not in a good way. Mindfulness helps us step away from our negative self-talk and refocus on what's really happening. We might notice that our friend actually turned back around and smiled at us. We may feel engaged or energized and we might actually notice sensations, sights, sounds, smells, touch, or tastes that are a part of that engagement and energy.
In one study the results of self-talk training (increasing positive/decreasing negative) were noted as:
“As expected, ST training led to (less) somatic state anxiety and (higher) state self-confidence, self-optimization, self-efficacy, and performance.”
(Sports (Basel). 2019 Jun; 7(6): 148.Published online 2019 Jun 19. doi: 10.3390/sports7060148)
In a study of chilfdren and adolescents anxiety and depression symptoms showed significant correlation to negative Self-talk.(https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2899011/#__ffn_sectitle)
As a therapist, I like to tell my clients to think of it like two people that you know. One of them isn't very pleasant to be around and says things like “I can’t believe you did that, idiot, waste of space,” the words are painful and distracting. Then there’s the other kind person “You’ve got this. You worked so hard and you are good with people, go for it!” Self-talk can go hand in hand with self-compassion, as a support, a confidence builder, and a wellness practice, but it takes time and patience and often guidance to build in such supports.
As always a Blog is just informational and is not intended as therapy. If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or any other mental distress please do reach out to a provider for help.
